I once spent on two thousand miniature cedar shingles that were entirely useless. I am a dollhouse architect; scale is my religion. The shingles arrived in 1:24 scale for a 1:12 scale Victorian project because I refused to admit, during a forty-minute Zoom call with a specialist supplier in Munich, that I had no idea what he meant by “verkleinerter Maßstab.”
I knew the words individually, or I thought I did, but the way he strung them together sounded like an industry-standard certainty. I nodded. I smiled. I adjusted my glasses with the practiced air of a woman who was perfectly in sync with the logistics of Bavarian timber exports. I was not in sync. I was performing.
The cost of that performance was a three-month delay and a box of wood scraps that now sit at the bottom of a bin in my studio. This is the tax we pay for the preservation of our perceived competence. We would rather go bankrupt, literally or metaphorically, than be the person who breaks the rhythm of a conversation to say, “I’m sorry, could you say that again? I